Thursday, April 10, 2014

The Colour Purple - Memoirs of a First Time Voter on a Sunny Thursday


So I voted. For the first time. Yes I know. I am 27 which means I had been eligible to vote for the past nine years but unfortunately that never happened. Well, that is another story and let’s not go there for the time being. Instead, let me just blabber about my excitement as a first time voter and the sheer high that I have been getting admiring the purple stain on my otherwise unpolished unmanicured index finger.
But before I go there, I must applaud the initiative of registertovote.com because of which I am able to do all this blabbering in the first place. Having nothing better to do on a lazy Saturday afternoon I decided to log in and fill in my details on this site.  Voila, two days later a man stands at my doorstep, takes my documents and a funny passport sized photo (I am sure mine isn’t an exception as far as the passport photo is concerned) and in another two days ensures that I have the chance to brandish my newly made election card in front of my family's amused eyes.
The eve of my election day ended in office with a rather entertaining performance by my highly dramatic and talented colleague who derives sheer happiness from mimicking Rekha in ‘Khoon Bhari Maaang’ from time to time.  Election time however made him shift his allegiance to Juhi Chawla and her high voltage performance as a shrewd neta* in the recently released ‘Gulaab Gang’ (“Kiske denge aap vote, jiske haath mein hai remote”. Mast slogan hai re baba!!). I came home and decided to bake a lemon cake in honour of the midweek holiday the next day. Overbaked on the exterior and undercooked on the inside was not much of an honour but nonetheless and watched Sherlock till three in the morning without worrying about the alarm the next morning.

Being the responsible citizen that I am , I woke up the next morning earlier than usual (eleven o’clock instead of the usual twelve o’clock or so on weekends) and did a search on the candidates in my constituency and browsed through the newspaper with Modi staring hard at me from the front page (“Your one vote can make a majority”) and Rahul Baba and a horde of empowered women smiling at me from the last (“Mahilayon ko sammaan, mahilayon ko ek lakh rupye ka aasaan loan”). In between I had Virat Kohli, Gul Panag, bespectacled college-goers and sunglassed homemakers inspiring me to go and vote while I enjoyed my freshly-made parathas with achaar and baby gulaab-jamuns on the side. Satiated with the brunch I dabbed some sunscreen and set off. On the way I once again checked out my funny photo on the election card, laughed to/at myself and the credentials of the netas in my New Delhi constituency.
The atmosphere outside the polling station was sort of happening. Trying-to-look-alert cops, aunties buying veggies after having voted, journalist with cameraman in tow (I adjusted my hair thinking they might want a byte but no such luck :P), above average looking hunks in slept-in bermudas, I-am-Marxist-at-heart Bengali uncles (I stay in C.R. Park, a predominantly Bong neighbourhood in Delhi) unanimously agreeing on the cons of ‘Kamal’, ‘Jhaaru’, ‘Haath’and so on. I entered trying not to look like a first time voter. I was asked to proceed to Polling Station Number 107, the one with no queue, no crowd at all. I was somehow drawn to Polling Station 117 since it had the longest line. Being a first time voter, I wanted to stand in one of those serpentine queues, get all tanned and sweaty, observe the movements and the nuances around as I waited to get my finger stained. But that was not to be. Four people ahead of me- an octogenarian dida, unshaven husband-wife in red pants duo (red pants in a polling booth, my Marxist allegiance re-kindled),a slightly bewildered thin young  girl (a first time voter I guessed going by the amount of time she spent in front of the machine).

The finger–staining moment arrived. Must say I was slightly disappointed since I felt the colour was not quite adequate. I wanted an extra coat and had almost asked for it when I checked myself thinking that it would not quite be the done thing for a first timer. Standing in front of the polling machine, I wanted to take a good look at all those fantastic and never seen on TV/ FB/auto-posterior symbols that dotted the machine sharing space with the stalwarts. My anti-climax moment however seemed to have arrived before even the climax could set in. I quickly pressed the red button beside the symbol I was looking for (as if I had an option), heard the high pitched acknowledgement emanate from the apparatus and proceeded outside. All done in a matter of seconds.  Just like all major twists in life.
The rest of the day comprised oiling my hair, undoing and re-doing my ‘what’s the point it’s always a mess’ wardrobe, arguing with my mother about the speed of the fan and eating watermelons. I spent the evening watching the dancing fountain show in my neighbourhood Kali Mandir. I am going to end my post thus with a picture of a dancing fountain instead of my inked finger. After all, life is definitely more than just the colour purple. What do you say?

P.S. The indelible ink seems not so indelible since it is almost non-existent after my shampooing session. But kya kare, milaawat ka zamaana hai bhai.
Picture Courtesy: www.eyefriyadh.com

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Winter Wonderings....

I long for oldness, 
Is there even such a word?
But I know you get the idea anyway
A feeling tinged with nostalgia
Accompanied by the smell of mustard oil on the skin
A winter afternoon like this
A lot more warm, a lot more familiar...

Are my thoughts incoherent, a little muddled perhaps?
But how can I help for I am not quite the same myself
My head does not think the way it did, maybe just about a decade back. 

A decade back...
A face without the dark cirlces,  a father without the white hair
A me without a voter ID, undefined identity, unchartered paths...

A closet full of woollens, loose, baggy ones
A drawer full of photographs, undigitised, unseen for years
The ring of the BSNL landline, textbooks in brown papers

Coming back to now, a lot more difficult
The same winter temperature. Fitted woollens. Much more fashionable
A little less sunny, a little more grey...




Photo Credits: gallery.photo.net

Friday, November 1, 2013

...They call it first love

Fluttering hearts,
Fifteen years old or so
Late night phone calls back in the day
Exorbitant phone bills. BSNL landline.
Sleep deprived mornings
First love they call it.

Holding hands, twirling fingers
Bunking college, scorching afternoons.
Sharing a single chicken egg roll.
Sneaking into empty rooms,
Parents being away.

Walks down empty stretches,
No money for cabs
Second-hand books for birthday gifts
With a letter tucked in
Written on tissue paper perhaps.

Keeping the ‘affair’ all under wraps
It has to be clandestine for sure.
When Romeo and Juliet are not just tales
They call it first love you know.

Image Courtesy: www.store.goabove.com

Sunday, September 29, 2013

Memory....

Memory is the vigorous oil massage. Strong mustard oil. In the sun. Thakuma’s* deft hands. When you were three years old. And stark naked. Memory is the scrapbook. History lessons. Mohenjo-Daro and Harappan Civilization. The slam-book too. Filled with illegible handwriting. Cheesy lines. Scribbled in glitter pens. Memory is watching Mahabharata. On Sunday mornings. After father picked up the weekly rations. Memory is Lalita Ji. And Surf detergent ads. Memory is writing letters. On postcards. And sending out Happy New Year cards. Memory is munching on Uncle chips. And washing them down with Gold Spot. Memory is Chitrahaar. And Superhit Muqabla. Memory is playing ‘Name, Place, Animal Thing’. With cousins on sultry afternoons.  Memory is  smelling erasers. In shapes of boats and bananas.  Memory is the stolen glance. And passing chits. Back in the seventh standard. Memory is Ludo. And Chinese Checkers. Memory is clicking pictures on the Kodak KB10 camera. Waiting in anticipation for the developed roll.  Arranging them neatly in family albums. Memory is reading ‘Little Women’. The abridged version. Text on the right. Pictures on the left page. Memory is draping a sari for the first time. On Saraswati Puja**. Already feeling like a grown up. Memory is playing gully cricket. With the brothers. Till you actually grew up. And were not good enough. In an all boy’s team. Memory is Durga Puja shopping. In Gariahat***. Pushing through the throng of shoppers. And hawkers. Sweat. Grabbing an oily egg roll after the shopping soiree. Memory is watching masala movies. In single screen theatres. The whistles and the hoots. Memory is going to the neighbourhood cyber cafĂ©. Accessing the weirdly named email id’s. Sweetypie56. Mainhoondon007. Memory is having conversations. Face to face. Memory is using an unsmart phone.

Memory is the last post on the blog…..

 Paternal grandmother
** In Bengal, it is almost customary for young girls (as young as three years old) to drape a sari on Saraswati Puja. 
** Gariahat, located in South Kolkata is a popular shopping hub, akin to Sarojini Nagar of Delhi. 
Image Courtesy:www.flickr.com

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Sadness….



Sadness is watching ‘Anand’. And ‘Mili’*. Sadness is not being able to shop for Durga Pujo. Thank you Mr. Jaundice. Sadness is the new pimple on the forehead. The morning before the engagement. Sadness is missing Maa’s chicken stew. Badly. The same stew which tasted bland and boring while at home. Sadness is thinking of schooldays. Unsolved X’s. Unfinished games. Undecided winners. Sadness is not being able to complete the last lap on the jogging track. Watching the fifty something neighbor surge ahead. The pet Labrador sprinting too.  Sadness is the unresolved fight at two in the morning. Sleepy eyes. Unsleepy souls. Sadness is getting blisters on the feet. While pandal-hopping with friends. A yearly vocation. Sadness is not reading enough. Wanting to. Not being able to. Somehow. Sadness is backache. Thanks to the wretched posture. And the laptop. That pay cheque at the end of the month. Sadness is looking at the unkempt wardrobe. Two days after the clean-up. Or so you thought. Sadness is not spotting sparrows in the neighbourhood. Anymore. Sadness is not solving the daily crossword. Completely. Sadness is not breathing. Deep enough.

Sadness is not being able to put up the new post on the blog….
 
 
 

 
* ‘Anand’ and ‘Mili’ were Bollywood movies of the 1970’s starring Rajesh Khanna and Jaya Bachchan respectively. Both the movies had sad endings.
Image Courtesy: www.8tracks.com

Monday, September 23, 2013

Happiness......

Happiness is noticing the pink water lily standing tall in cheerful defiance amidst the wilted week-long red roses on my study table vase.  Happiness is watching Tom’s futile endeavours at outsmarting Jerry. Again and again and again. Happiness is stealing a spoonful of Milkmaid from the fridge. Savouring it with the eyes and then the tongue. This, in the second week of the jaundice bout.  This, in the second week of surviving on ‘pepe and moolo sheddho’*. Happiness is cracking the ‘googly’ question on Dadagiri** before Sourav Ganguly and anybody else answers it. Happiness is finishing Jhumpa Lahiri’s latest novel in less than a day. Happiness is fitting into old clothes again. Like a dream. Happiness is listening to Bob Dylan. And Tracy Chapman. Happiness is receiving surprise bouquets while at work. Happiness is marveling at the sheer success of the first shrimp curry. Happiness is getting tickets booked for Coorg and then cancelling them for tickets to Kolkata. Just because you are homesick. Happiness is dancing to ‘Ek do teen’. And dancing some more. Even when breathless. Happiness is watching Satyajit Ray’s ‘Sonar Kella’ for the 36th time. And dying to watch it for the 37th. Happiness is re-visiting embarrassing childhood snaps. Happiness is applying the perfect coat of nail paint on the right hand with the left.  Happiness is in the realization that the tablets for the gluten allergy are no longer necessary. Happiness is hearing Maa narrate Jimmy’s 'fantics'*** over the phone from a distance of 1359 kilometres. Happiness is reading old copies of Tinkle Digest and Amar Chitra Katha. And re-reading ‘Little Women’ and ‘Far from the Madding Crowd’. Happiness is sleeping on his chest and being party to his soft snores. Happiness is not setting the alarm clock for the next morning.
Happiness is putting up the new post on the blog……

* Boiled papaya and radish, a must-have diet for jaundice patients
** A popular Bengali TV Show in the format of a quiz competition hosted by Sourav Ganguly
*** The fanatical antics of my pet Labrador Jimmy

Image Courtesy: www.marcandangel.com

 

Friday, September 20, 2013

A thirty inch waistine
And not so perfect thighs.
How I still long to be
Kareena Kapoor's size....:(

Dark circles under my eyes
And pimples on my face.
Beautiful body and killer looks
I seem to be falling behind in the race.

Day-cream, night-cream, eye-cream, toe-cream
I keep them all by my side
For I am afraid of laugh-lines, wrinkles and crow's feet
Even when I am about to die.

I want to get a liposuction done
A tummy-tuck or two.
I want to pout like Jolie does
Or even Deepika Padukone would do.

I want a hundred likes on my selfies
On Facebook, Instagram and Whatsapp.
I want the virtual world to know how cool I am
Even though my life is so dull and drab.

I do not care for smart people around me
As long as I have my smart phone.
I have a thousand friends online
Why do I then feel so alone?